A Princess Heart Ponders

Fuzzy Fears

2010-07-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

My sister was here a week ago with her children, her husband, and her brand new baby...well..."baby" cockapoo, Sadie. She is adorable, sweet, and very fuzzy!

It's always a crazy time of seven children buzzing around, upstairs, downstairs, inside, outside...doors opening, doors shutting, shrieks, giggles....and the ever present child standing at the refrigerator, filling up a cup for a drink of water to replenish that sweaty little head...which leads to the many, many cups on top of the counter!

My youngest son Brooks got a chance to meet Sadie too, and at just 17 months and not much time logged in around animals, it turned out to be quite an experience. While the older kids could hardly wait to meet her, Brooks had no idea how long the next few days would be for him.

He was terrified of her. He was shaking, trembling, screaming, teary-eyed frightened of her. Every time she came into the room, the same routine would happen...the anxiety level would sky rocket...the shakes would begin...and the people in the room with Brooks were wishing they were not!

No matter what we did, what we said, it would just go on an on until either Brooks or Sadie left the room...or Sadie feel asleep. Honestly, it was kind of miserable.

If the puppy started to come into the room Brooks was in, I would quickly pick him up and tell him it was all okay, to settle down, and, "Look Brooks how sweet the puppy is! Awww....she is so cute, don't you want to pet her?" And it never worked, he never settled down until once again the two were in separate rooms.

I began to think about the fact that I was so much bigger than Sadie, so much bigger than Brooks. And here I was holding Brooks. He was perfectly safe. No matter what, Sadie couldn't jump high enough to touch him. I was too tall and she was too small. It just wasn't going to happen.

His fears were totally unwarranted.... yet the anxiety, the tears, and the screams continued.

How many times do I do this with the Lord?

He is SO much bigger than all my fears and definitely big enough to handle my enemy. He is always holding me. No matter how high those fears can jump, they can't hurt me when I am in His arms. This is a fact, a truth, a reality.

Sometimes I just forget that He is holding me.

As those days went by and my patience worn thin...I remember thinking, "This is ridiculous Brooks...babes I am holding you...You are safe. Mommy isn't going to let the puppy hurt you! She can't even reach you!"

And then that sweet, small voice with a big Word came to me..."You do this too....You cry, you shake, you fear....and yet I am holding you. I am bigger than all those things and I have your back...always."

That was all I needed to see the situation differently...and two things happened.

The first thing was I began to realize how crazy some of those fears truly are.

And the second....I had much more compassion for my son.

On a side note, this story had a neat ending. The night before Sadie went home, Brooks was outside in the yard and Sadie was near by. He gradually kept creeping towards her...until finally he touched her....Yes, he did this first by putting his hand behind his back and touching her without having to look at her...but he touched her! And that moment led to another one where he quickly patted her head.

It was beautiful to see victory and to celebrate that with him....the way I know my Father must celebrate each little one with me...

Weeds in My Garden

2008-06-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

I just finished weeding in the front garden....and oh my, what a sight....all that rain has been growing flowers...and lots and lots of prickly weeds....

God always seems to speak to me in the garden...and I am pretty sure it is because it is one the few things that I do, where I am not talking....I am quiet, so I can actually listen.

And I was pulling out these amazing weeds that were tall and mixed among the flowers as if they were supposed to be there. Some of them had half-way attractive purple flowers growing out of them....

But they weren't flowers, they were still weeds.

Pulling them out was really painful, even with rubber garden gloves on....but after awhile, I realized that the closer I got to the bottom of the weed, the fewer the prickles to poke me. It was almost as if the weed put its best effort at showing those thorns at the top and as far as the eye could see, to rather intimidate you NOT to pull it out...

And it is effective, let me tell you...a few grabs at the mid section of the plant makes you draw back your hand and wish you never touched it. Honestly, I stepped back with no other ideas of how to get them out...and thought, "They don't look so bad...."

But because I planted the flowers around those weeds, I know how beautiful they can be and I wanted to see them all....not their beauty stifled by a bunch of weeds that were not invited into my garden....

I wanted to see the vision I had for this garden in its full glory...

So I pulled and I pulled and after a while, God reminded me we had done this before, and I needed to, "Go to the root of it...." I separated and pulled away all the layers--like drawing back a curtain-- so I could see where the bottom of the plant began....and sure enough, there were not so many prickles....and the ones that were there were fine and weak and not so painful to pull....

Little by little, I began to see the beauty I remembered and so enjoy....

I think that sometimes, in our lives, we just don't realize what has overgrown in our hearts...what it is that is stifling our beauty, our heart, our potential....

And that is the beauty of the Holy Spirit....

He has the gift of teaching us to go deeper, to pull things out by the root, to discern the Truth....and to reveal, to reveal, to reveal....and that is simply amazing to me...

Funny thing about my flowers....some of them were actually using the tall weeds to support themselves....they were actually dependent on the weed and it was affecting the direction they grew. For due to the way the weed spread out so widely, it was actually getting in the way of my flowers growing straight. There was this spiral of growth to the side as the plant had to grow around the weed, becoming entangled as it tried to grow up....

I praise God for His Holy Spirit and for this object lesson of how important it is to let Him grow me, to weed me....even when it hurts....because it isn't without pain for Him...

He simply can't step back and say, "Well, it doesn't look so bad."

That would be outside of His nature.

He loves me enough to weed me because, you see.... He planted me, He has grown me, and He has this vision....and it is far more glorious than anything I could come up with...

A Princess Heart Ponders?

2008-01-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome to "A Princess Heart Ponders!"

Last year I read a wonderful book by Nicole Johnson (Women of Faith). It was entitled "Keeping a Princess Heart in a Not-So-Fairytale World."

It inspired me.

I learned that as a daughter of the King, I have been given a princess heart...

Last summer, I taught a class at vacation Bible school called "Princesses." I challenged these young girls to recognize that if Jesus was their Savior...they had the heart of the truest princess...His princess.

And as I did, I wondered just how much I truly believed that for me? Did I act like a princess?

Did I believe my King like a princess? Did I rest in His protection?

He is still working on that with me.

But He is faithful...that I know.

I welcome your comments and your thoughts as I journey on...growing and showing a princess heart...totally sold out to my King.

Sick and Serve?

2008-01-15T11:41:00.000-08:00

It is hard to put others first. It just is. Especially when you don't feel good. Especially when all you can do is hope for someone to take care of you...so when you are a mom of four little people who count on you, it is tough to get the flu...and still put others first.

"Mom, please can I have some more Gatorade?"
But I just sat down and the refrigerator is WAY over there...

"Momma can I just snuggle you... all I want to do is snuggle my momma!!! (wallow, wallow, wallow all over my lap)
Watch it, one inch closer to my stomach and you'll be flying off my lap as I dash to the bathroom!

"Honey, can you please help me move the Bowflex before you head to bed so the dry wallers don't drop more goop on it tomorrow when they mud in the basement."
Five minutes later and I would have been moving heavy objects under the influence of Nyquil!

Never mind the fact that my husband with a sore throat himself, a pulled neck muscle, and a full weekend of leading music....willingly, lovingly has made trips to the store for Tylenol, Gatorade, and ice cream. Last night, still not feeling great himself, he spent hours putting together a large piece of exercise equipment for me, designing this blog with love and LOTS of patience, and taking out the garbage in the freezing cold. And as I sit here warm here at home, he is driving my son to kindergarten so I don't have to.

I am blessed because someone has chosen to serve Him, by serving me.

And so it goes, no matter who we are, what our position is, how young, how old, how predispostioned we are...we are called to serve one another, to bless one another in His name...no matter what...even when we are sick.

When we dig deep...when we reach high...the heart of a servant shines through...the heart of a princess can be seen...even when she'd really rather stay in bed!